anxious

I feel like I spend too much time feeling anxious.  Anxious.  Anxious to get home and relax after a long day of work.  Anxious for the weekend.  Anxious for the holidays.  Anxious to get married.  Anxious to be a mom.  Anxious for the next exciting thing.  Anxious.all.the.time.

When I was in high school my dad experienced some health issues while we were on vacation and had to spend a night in the hospital.  Anxiety came up as a possible part of the problem, and my mom was trying to help my sisters and I understand what that meant.  I remember laughing so hard when Lynsey asked if anxiety was like how she felt anxious to see Justin in a couple days (they had just been dating a few months at this time).  The thought of something as serious as an anxiety attack being related to the excited feelings to see her boyfriend was so funny to me at the time.  But thinking back on it now I can see the connection.

I get anxious about exciting, little things like a day off or skyping with my nephews.  However, the next minute I feel anxiety about paying my bills or being single forever.  It's funny how we use the same word to describe very different things.  That physical feeling in my heart does feel the same though, whether it is exciting or serious.  It's hard to tell the difference myself sometimes.

No matter what the subject though, God tells us not to be anxious about anything.  Trust Him to take care of tomorrow.  As easy as that is to read in the Bible, to hear a sermon on, and to tell other people about, it seems infinitely harder to follow.  I need to make a conscious effort to live for today, to appreciate what God has put in front of me right now.  It's so hard to stop dreaming ahead and truly be content in my current situation, whether that's during my work day with my students or in my relationship status of one. I know I need to spend more time with God, both reading and praying, on this issue, but if you have any practical suggestions I'll take them!

a welcome break

This 3 day weekend was such a welcome break.  Jamie and I ended up going to Atlanta for a day and a half.  We had a fun time exploring downtown Atlanta on Saturday.  It started by taking control of MARTA.  I'm not very well versed in public transportation, but with Jamie by my side, I survived.  We braved the insane crowd filled with hundreds of school/camp children to eat the Varsity.  The wait was worth it...the greasy onion rings were amazing!

See the lady in the back?  She had major mom jeans on.  The lady she was with was CRAZY! She yelled at children and the eldery who tried to take her group's "saved" tables all throughout the restaurant.  I wish I had gotten a picture of her in action.

After the Varsity we headed over to the World of Coca Cola for a tour and tasting.  I visited this one and the one we used to have in Vegas when I was younger, but it was so much fun since it had been a while.  I gave up drinking soda back in high school but I obviously had to make an exception this weekend.  We tasted a lot of good/interesting flavors, but the worst by far was Beverly (I think from Italy).

We spent some time touring the Margaret Mitchell house (she wrote Gone with the Wind).  Besides the awkward tour guide, the outside of the house was beautiful and the original apartment inside was really neat to see.

 Everything up until this point in the day went pretty smoothly.  That all changed when we arrived at Underground Atlanta...if you've ever been, you know this was a bad idea.  We thought we were going somewhere for fun shopping and to get some dinner.  We realized within five minutes (not enough time to get a picture of the sketch crowd) that the website was false advertising, and decided to head out of the city.  My very generous Aunt Robin and Uncle Mark lent us their house that night.  We got to see my cousin Morgann and Grant's new baby Harper the next day.  She was so tiny and adorable!  The rest of the day was spent shopping at stores Asheville is too cool to/too dumb not to have and driving home.  I ate too much sugar and grease, shopped more than I probably should have (everything was on sale though), and spent a lot of time on some form of transportation.  With all of that said, I had an amazing weekend.  I'll take another.

I feel like I spent this whole post writing a fifth grade essay on "What I did over summer break..." but I can't be entertaining all the time.  Informative posts are equally important for my family :)

yayayay it's almost "Friday"

Tomorrow's my Friday!!! I'm so happy to finally have a day off. There's no other reason for this post than to say how excited I am :)  I'm not sure how much longer I could give my all at work 5 days a week. I know that sounds lame/lazy but my job takes all my energy every week (in a good way though). Some possibilities for this weekend...

1) nothing...which doesn't sound bad at all
2) shop (and hopefully come into a small fortune via the lottery or beneficiary first)
3) day trip to charlotte (or some other nearby place)
4) sleep
5) get ahead on lesson planning (sounds terrible, but at least it'll help me avoid working over thanksgiving break)
6) ???? any suggestions?

Of course, thank you to all of our veterans.  I obviously appreciate my day off, but more importantly thank you to you and your families for your sacrifice for our safety and freedom.

timelines

I love math and I love almost anything to do with numbers (except for worrying about my budget of course). This love of numbers includes a love of timelines as well...I love to count down to exciting things. Here are a few of my current countdowns: 1 and 1/6 days until Friday! 8 days until a 3 day weekend! 3 weeks until my favorite holiday! 7 weeks until I go home for Christmas and see my family! 10.5 months until my baby sister's wedding! Yep...you read that last one right...my little sissy is getting married!!! She got engaged during my unintentional two month blog break so I never got a chance to mention it. I have several weddings of very dear friends and family members coming up too (congrats to Elyse and Jarah, Jordann and Austin, Megan and Micah, and Amanda and Nik!!!), but this is the most life changing. The boys in my family are now outnumbering the girls. My dad started with a wife and 3 daughters. We had control. When Lynsey had to go and get married and have two boys they became an equal match. Now that Dave's joined the bunch they are one up on us. Seriously though, can you believe it? I swear she was just in first grade walking home by herself because she didn't feel like waiting for Lynsey to stop talking to her friends. Over the last few summers we had to share a small room with twin beds while on family vacation at the beach. I used to think this was a bad thing and would dream of the day we would get married and get our own rooms like big kids. Now when I think about future beach vacations, it makes me sad that my days of sharing a child's room with my little sister are over. Melissa, no matter how much we argued as kids (okay and as adults sometimes too) I cherish the time we spent growing up together. I have especially fond memories of the last few years living at home together as adults. I love you infinitely and am so excited for your future. Dave, even though you're tipping the boy to girl ratio, welcome to the family. We can be tough to deal with when all the girls start talking at once but you'll learn to deal. Justin can give you some tips.

transparent

Okay so after my blogging hiatus (which was longer than the amount of time I actually blogged), I'm back...for today at least. A couple hours after I was "off" work but still at work, I was chatting with Katrina about how it's okay to complain sometimes and this is what flowed very quickly and freely as I typed to her... *Please forgive the terrible grammar...I swear I learned all the rules in school. I just ignore them when I'm typing to friends.* "i want to go home. but i can't. i have too much to do. i want to run outside (even though i'd complain about not wanting to run when i got home anyways). i want to just have a night to sit and relax rather than worry about my students who are failing. but i don't. i always think about them. i even had a dream about one and what i could do to help him. it's sick. i want a job i can leave at work sometimes. but i signed up for this. and i don't really want to give it up. i want to have my own kids someday. preferably before 35. and rather than raise my own i often counsel parents on theirs. i love what i do but sometimes i just want to deal with my own kids rather than everyone else's. but it's amazing how much i can care for so many kids i've only known for 2.5 months. ahh. ok i'm done." Alright...well there it is. Those were my feelings for today.